Growing Pains

nayyirah waheed 

you.

not wanting me.

was

the beginning of me

wanting myself.

thank you.

— the hurt

Read my older blog first!!! I'm still trying to understand how to blog so please be patient with me. :)

As my last year of my 20s is coming closer, I feel like I have learned the most this year than any other. I know not everyone can relate completely with me, but everyone has gone through their share of ups and down, or had a time when they have felt let down and disappointed. I think one of the more important things that has an effect on our future, is how we handle negative situations that happens in our lives, being able to learn from things that could potentially bring you down and obtaining and using the coping skills to help us grow positively from it. 

I wanted to share what I have learned in my experiences in my life with relationships and understanding each other. I thought I was on the right track with my life plan, I was suddenly blindsided and the world I thought I knew was thrown upside down, it is crazy how one person can have such a huge impact on your life. My engagement, my home, what I knew and loved didn't make sense to me anymore, I questioned myself constantly.  

Going through a break up helped me realize that I was already miserable with myself before it even happened. I felt like I was just going in circles with my life. I have learned that I am stubborn, guarded, self-centered, and skeptical of everyone and this has led to me not having healthy normal relationships with people because I did not make the effort to get to know or have a connection with them. I have learned that I truly need to be a stronger person. Now I am more aware of myself, and having these connections is not the total solution but it has helped me grow more and appreciate the people I surround myself with. I have started a journey in reflection of my life and instead of calling it a negative situation, I look it as a small hiccup in my journey. It is not until now that I understood what it meant to focus on myself, I am finally learning how to do that as I continue my journey to being Totally Tobi.